Creativity, encouragement, haiku, Insecurity

Life of a Romantic

I seem to be waiting for a creative wind to come and suddenly motivate me to write, but that only happens when it wants to. I wrote a haiku about it.

I have been thinking
why wait for inspiration
if it never comes

Waiting for inspiration (of any sort) is my go-to. I don’t normally do something if I’m not in the mood to do it. I’ve been doing this since I can last remember. But the more I get through these socially-distanced days, the more I see that it’s not an effective way to live.

My moods will always vary. If some days I feel like doing things but not others, then will I ever find a true rhythm to my creative practice? Will it ever become a “practice” at all?

I need to change this pattern, or at least interrupt it. Since I know I have a tendency to wait on the winds of chance, I need to set up a regular time to write, draw, etc. It will go against my natural way of operating, but it will help me begin a true practice, regardless of inspiration.

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quick write

A budget, analyzed

I’m afraid I’ve been overthinking my blog posts lately, and I seem to be stuck. So here’s a Dilbert cartoon my coworker Amanda introduced me to the other day that summarizes our job quite well.

I laughed just now thinking about how odd it is that I’m a budget analyst by profession. Even now it doesn’t make sense. It’s quite hilarious, actually.

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Chicken soup and Harry Potter

I woke up sick this morning, tossing and turning, not wanting to get out of bed and ready for work. I called in sick, and it’s been a bit of a blur ever since.

I cancelled all of my plans and simply stayed in. At one point I went downstairs to make myself some chicken soup. And just a bit ago, I found myself singing about butter as I whipped up a sandwich.

I’m tellin’ you, it was a blur.

And all throughout the day I had this nagging thought: “Cecilia you’re not doing what you said you would.” It was calling me out for not having blogged all day nor last night.

And now that I’m actually doing it, another nagging thought: “Cecilia, why did you wait until now? You had all day.”

And to it I say: “Cool it, will ya? I got it done. Now, I’m going to go watch Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, just because I can.

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